May 21,2014 my birthday!

Good Friday morning everyone! It's a rainy day here in PA...I enjoy the rain as much as the sun. Why? Well..when it rains, I curl up on the chair in my shop and watch old movies and drink Chai tea. It's calming and safe and the way that I like to feel.

Today I am doing some reflecting on my life, since it will be my 52nd birthday on May 21st. I have learned many things, and since now I am old enough to give advice, if you need some, I'll tell you what I have learned.

#1 People show you who they are ONE TIME! when you see someone's true colors, don't make excuses, this is who they are and you either accept it, or move on.

#2. Family doesn't always love you.  Loving you means accepting you. You can have a wonderful 'family' with people who are not blood related. Stop trying to 'fit in' with your so-called family when it is causing you pain and heartache.

#3  Having class and having respect for yourself is important. Hanging out all your parts does not get you a good partner in life. It will get you a fun night...or 2...or 10. People treat you the way you treat yourself!

#4. Wear what you want to wear. Enjoy your life. The day you get up in the morning is not going to be repeated. So live it with purpose and joy. (and be grateful for it!!)

#5 Don't waste time waiting for a special person, money, or things. Enjoy and be thankful for your life now. If you are not happy now, you never will be happy.

#6. Let your yes's mean YES and your no's mean NO! Don't be wishy washy. say what you need to say and mean it. Don't be afraid to stand up for what is not popular.

#7. Be tolerant of other people and their beliefs and their opinions. If you don't agree, or they are hatefully ridiculous, move away from them. A fight solves NOTHING and you can't fix stupid.

#8  Being spiritual doesn't mean carrying around a Bible, nor does it mean passing out literature, or preaching. Living your life in gratitude, serving others and loving is an example rather than a microphone.

#9 Don't wait for permission or authorization to live your life the way you want to. You will wait for the rest of your life...................

#10 Love and accept your wonderful self

Happy birthday to me....thank you for being my friend, for reading my blogs and for support of my business....most of all, thank you for being authentic beautiful beings that came into my life. I have enjoyed every minute of it and I hope to enjoy many more years!

Love, Rose Ellen

Rose Ellen Moore
www.rcmooreunique.com

610-740-3820

Channel your INNER QUEEN~~~!!!!!

So......As you all know I have been having a problem with my blood sugar and my thyroid. Sometimes I feel really low. I don't fit in too many of my clothes any more and I am always tired. My joints ache and my hair is falling out. Until they get my medication straightened out, I have to persevere. My birthday is coming up in a week and I've never felt so old. I started down the depressing path of....'Oh, when I was young I had so much fun. Oh, I used to wear this and this and this. Oh, I wish I could do blah blah blah..." and the truth of it is, I'm not really that old.  When we don't feel well physically we start to get depressed so....I've decided to channel my inner queen.


My name for the day is Queen Ferocia...I'm fearless...I'm a fighter. I look good...I'm the boss of my own life, I am the captain of my own ship. I do what I want when I want. I put on something red because it's a power color, I put on my red heels because they make me feel GREAT!  The depression starts to fade. I decided to put on my BIG WIG today...the big curls in all it's glory...YES! I'm a STAR!!!! That's not enough! I need a flower! yes...a RED FLOWER! and don't forget my push up bra under my dress!  The extra long false eye lashes! YES! I am truly Queen Ferocia...and as I was sitting in the car riding to work..I took out the brightest red lipstick I had and painted on my smile. Even though we don't feel like it....sometimes with a little coaxing, we can pull out that queen that was hiding for a minute. The person who is tired, beaten, and hurting...she can be transformed. Every day is a new day to start again. As long as the sun comes up in the morning there is more hope for me.

Ladies....for anyone out there that is feeling hopeless...tired, aching and abandoned....dig deep and find the strength to pull out your inner queen. Give her a name. Talk to her. It's ok to fake it till you make it. It's not about being a size 2 or being young...it's about HOW we make our lives. Put on all the glitz you can and soon all that black cloud will melt away. And don't worry what anyone else says...let them stay in their black cloud....

Now get out there and make it a great day...You will not live May 14.2014 ever again...so don't waste it!


from your friend,
Queen Ferocia

Rose Ellen Moore
www.rcmooreunique.com

Mother's Day

For those of you who don't know me personally I would like to share on this mother's day alittle of my life. I know that most of you know about my eating disorder that I have had all my life and now I will share a bit of something else.

My husband and I have 6 children collectively. We never use the word 'step' because we treat all of our children with the same love. Unfortunately things are not perfect and for one reason or another a few of our children do not talk to us or each other. We have come to accept how things are and we hope that in the future they will grow up and realize that love is unconditional and sometimes things in this life are not ideal.

The root of this problem lies with the relationship that I have with my mother, which is none. The story is long and boring so I won't even get into it. Lets just say that my mother and I haven't talked in a very long time because I have not lived my life the way she wanted me to. As a mother of 6 children that are all over the place with their religions and lifestyles, I will say that the lives my children have to live are theirs, not mine. I hope the best for them and I hope that they do good things for people and become productive members of society. I don't want to pigeon hole them into doing something that would make them unhappy. Their decisions they make, good or bad, are theirs, and they have to stand the consequences. But I love them.....and that will NEVER stop, no matter what goofy decisions they make. No matter what lifestyle they live, no matter what their feelings are about me, I love them. period.

On this Mothers Day, I would like to wish my mother a happy mother's day. Even though she does not speak to me, which is sad, but that is her choice. Do I love her? of course. She created me and I think I am wonderful!  I would not want to be anyone but myself.  I am the best part of her, Sophia (June) Villa  and my father, Alexander Matthew Holti. I am not sorry for anything nor do I have any regrets. Everything I chose good and bad, led me to where I am now. And I love my life. So on this mother's day, I thank my mother for my life. For instilling in me the creativeness that I posess and I hope that someday she comes to her senses. (my sister also) but if not, that is on them!  I will be here with the same phone number I always had, sitting in the same spot not expecting anything. They have to answer to their higher power when their life is completed.

So happy mother's day Ma...far away.....but always with me

Rose Ellen Moore
www.rcmooreunique.com

I'm the little one! 1964!

Women are so valuable!

Today my blog is a sad one and has nothing to do with fashion, style or the way you dress. Today I am focusing on the girls that have been kidnapped in Africa. As long as we keep these girls in our hearts and fresh in the minds of everyone, their plight will not go away. We MUST continue dialogue about these girls. We must convince people to stand up and FORCE our government to do something.

My business which is located at 1729 W Tighlman street in Allentown PA supports women. We purchase jewelry, bags, anything that is made by women all over the world, including our United States. These purchases that we make support many things. An AIDS orphanage in Africa, Autism, Sexual Slavery ('buy the bag, not the body') the 'undie fund' in Peru,...many many different causes. We try to build confidence in women and encourage women to raise up other women. I would be amiss as a supporter of women if I did not continue to speak out against sexual slavery. No woman should be forced to do ANYTHING that she did not choose to do.

Sexual exploitation is all over the world. Not just Africa, not just a third world country. Here in the United States I am saddened to say, that we have just as many problems with this as many other countries.

I urge all women out there to start small. Support your sisters every chance you get. Do something kind. Offer a kind word if you see a woman having difficulty. Don't be so quick to judge another woman when you don't know the entire story. PLEASE support your sisters no matter how small! Let the change begin with you! Maybe the ripple will be felt. We as women must change the way we think about ourselves. We must respect ourselves more. But most of all we have to drop the jealousy and support each other more. Please ladies......we must do something. But let that something begin with YOU!

http://www.uri.edu/artsci/wms/hughes/demand.htm

http://parade.condenast.com/274081/parade/jimmy-carter-speaks-out-for-women-excerpt-from-a-call-to-action/

http://www.state.gov/documents/organization/82902.pdf



Rose Ellen Moore

www.rcmooreunique.com

Roses, Thorns, Weeds and Dandelions

I haven't blogged in awhile...mostly because we have been closed!  It has been 4 days shy of 2 MONTHS that we have been closed!  I thought this would be the end of us, but my husband, who is the most determined man I know, brought us through.  He also kept me positive when I thought the world was coming to an end.   Just goes to show you, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you weathered the storm. Life is so chock full of weird crazy horrible things...but you can't be afraid. You have to face demons, stupidity, adversity, racism and jealousy...but in the end, if you hold your ground, you will be victorious.


And so with that being said, I would like to give out some awards today......

ROSES....to my husband, Clayton!  I love this man with my heart, soul and gizzard! He is amazing and extraordinary! I am blessed....

ROSES to all of our friends who helped us move. How can we ever thank you? Sometimes people don't have to say they love you....sometimes all they have to do is show up.

ROSES to our landlord!  Wow...we have a wonderful new landlord that truly wants to see our business succeed. We appreciate that...because this is one man with a vision that knows..if we succeed, he succeeds...so it's all good.

THORNS< WEEDS AND DANDELIONS to our previous landlord who was so unreasonable. All he cared about was money in his pocket, not his building, not the people, and definately not the city of Allentown. Some people allow greed to rule their world....and it makes them ugly.

So now that we are open, our hours are 10AM-6PM Mon thru Sat. Your handbags must be registered at the counter. We are excited and happy to serve you and we hope that you enjoy our most unusual shop!

my secret..............

Here we are, another day of winter, another day of snow. I haven't written a blog in awhile, because the truth be told, I am fighting a bout of depression. I only like to post positive things and try to uplift people (including myself) but it has been a tough winter on many levels. 

Most of my close friends know and now I will share with my readers that I have had an eating disorder for most of my life starting when I was 19. I am now almost 52 and I struggle on a daily basis. That is why it is so important for me to uplift women when they come into my shop. 

I was married the first time to a man who was very abusive. I was 164 pounds at the time,(which for me is a size 8)  and he would always call me CONTINUOUSLY, a "fat f*****g bitch". "Fat greasy wop"  "old hat"  "greasy dago"....this was coming from my then HUSBAND. I lived with that for a long time. I decided the only way to lose weight was to not eat. So, I ate 1/2 of a pop tart every day at 10Am and then ate nothing for the rest of the day. I became extremely gaunt and thin, I was pale, I messed up my blood sugar, I have a heart valve problem to this day, my teeth turned gray, and all the while this was going on he would say, "20 more pounds and you will be perfect".  By whose standards? What exactly is perfect? This man almost destroyed me.  When I was hungry I would rub my teeth with toothpaste. I took Correctol like asprin. I  was so worried about gaining one ounce. I weighed myself 3 times a day!!!!   Since I came from a large Italian family, divorce was a big NO NO!  But guess what, to make a long story short, I did it anyway.  I suffered the consequences, but did it anyway. To make a long story very short, I married an extraordinary man about 10 years ago, and Clayton and I have a beautiful life together. He encourages me every day. I was on a great program before I opened my shop. I ran 5 miles a day and I ate good fresh things because I was home to prepare them. I took time with myself and for a few years my weight was a constant 177 at 5'7" tall and I had curves and felt good about myself. I also went to counseling once a week. When we opened this business I did not have the time to prepare my food. I tried, I really did. Now I am up 28 pounds. Every day I fight with my mind. "dont' eat, don't eat"...what it should be saying is...'make better choices"....I am here for approx 10 hours each day and then I must go home and make hats. That requires sitting.....I must find a way to get in 30 min of exercise. I must find a way to take better care of myself.  Being snowed in as much as we have didn't help me at all. The first thing I want to make when it snows is Macaroni and cheese! My family is predisposed to obesity and heart disease. My father died of diabetes. That CANNOT be me!  I take pictures of myself to show you all, that being a bigger person is not the end of the world, but it also encourages MYSELF. Society does not think that any kind of overweight or curviness can be beautiful. Well, I have news for them. Even at 177 I was curvy, and at 164 I was curvy. I am always going to have 'junk in the trunk' because God gave it to me and it will NOT go away! So, here I am in this photo of the day. Am I depressed about my weight? sometimes, just like EVERY woman. But every day, I try. Every day I encourage myself, and every day I remember NOT to do the unhealthy eating habits that I had that have now left me with health issues. 

I encourage every woman today, 

to wrap your body as if it were a gift. Because it is! Every day is a gift! Every breath is a gift!

Don't worry that you are not a size 2....and if you are very thin, don't worry that you are not a size 6...Beauty is what you feel about YOURSELF! So, ladies and gentlemen, my secret is out. But maybe now, we can encourage each other to eat healthy, take care of ourselves and be the beautiful beings that we were meant to be!

Rose Ellen Moore

www.rcmooreunique.com

Valentine's day.....MADNESS!

As we approach Valentine's Day, I hear many women, (like last year) lament at the fact they are not 'with' anyone for this particular holiday. THEN...there are the women that are married or partnered with someone yet they do not receive a gift for this holiday. I have a few words to say for this Valentine's day..and most of them are directed to my daughter, who is feeling badly about some choices she has made, and I want to tell her that 'it's ok'.  

How did Valentine's day start? Well, there are many stories shrouded in mystery. The Catholic Church used to recognize valentine's day in honor of Valentinus who married couples against what the government said. Now the church does not recognize it.  It used to be associated with a roman feast of lupercalia...where boys and girls names were drawn from a lottery and then became 'partners' for a year.  For whatever the reason, we now have society yet again telling me how to live my life. I MUST buy a Valentine for my husband, I MUST get something from my husband....or what? he doesn't love me?  Listen, I am a non comformist. I don't listen to society telling me I must be a size 2, I must wear my hair a certain way or be a certain thing. What I do is between me and my creator. So, as far as Valentine's Day, I say this. Women, if you are not with someone, so what? If you feel that you must celebrate Valentine's Day because society tells you to, then go buy yourself a kicky pair of shoes...go treat yourself to some nice clothes. Don't worry that no one loves you...people do. Most of all, you have to love YOURSELF!  If your husband or significant other is working hard for you every day, says he loves you, washes dishes occasionally or helps with the housework, then why do you need a valentine? THERE is your valentine. A Valentine to me is PROOF...what other proof do you need when he is doing things for you?

If a Valentine is a representation of love, then love yourself most of all! Love all the things about you that make you YOU!  That gap between your teeth, your wide hips, your eyes, your hair, your tattoos, your piercings, your small boobs, your big boobs, your feet...whatever! There is NO ONE like you in the whole world! aren't you lucky to be so unique and beautiful?  Celebrate yourself on Valentine's day without feeling badly that you do not have a partner. Celebrate that your mother gave birth to you, loved you and raised you and now you are a beautiful woman that deserves the best. So don't settle! If you want a bright red shiny new automobile, would you settle for a $300 no paint  rust bucket? NO!  Patiently wait for the right deal to come along. Until then, love love love YOURSELF!  Shower love upon others, your friends, your family, your children. If your heart is broken for whatever reason this Valentine's day....don't worry. A broken heart is an open heart. More love will come in. Be patient and love yourself......................


Happy Valentine's Day from RCMoore for the Unique Individual...because NO ONE is quite like YOU!

www.rcmooreunique.com

Make a statement without saying a word!

You know for the past few days I have listened to people on twitter and facebook talking about the Grammy's and how they were offended by this and that and some people were appalled by the fashions. Well ladies and gentlemen, I am here to tell you..creative people are just that. They want to be unique...out of the box. They are entertainers. They are not waiting for your opinion. They are going to leave your opinion and run right to the BANK! as we sit here with our opinions. LOL!  The more outrageous that are, the more people will talk about them, good or bad. Any kind of publicity is publicity just the same. And so...did you like what Beyonce was wearing? was she too sexy? and what's with the hair? and Pharrells hat? Madonna's grills? WHO CARES! these are artists! they are going to be out of the box!

I know for myself, many people ask me, 'where do you get your inspiration to make hats?" Well, I always want to be different, outrageous and unique. Who wants to come in and purchase a hat that they see someone else wearing? We all want to be validated. We all want to be individuals. We want to feel special. At least I know that I do!  so don't be afraid of what other people think. There will always be haters. When you wear something...OWN IT! don't be AFRAID! And don't worry about other people's opinions. They don't pay your bills!

Rose Ellen Moore

www.rcmooreunique.com

thank you Sonya Renee!

A friend of mine, Sharon Vidmar McCarthy posted something on her facebook which inspired me to write this blog. Sonya Renee's The Body is Not an Apology. When I heard her speak on youtube, I got goosebumps. Everything I have felt in all my 51 years welled up inside of me and I wanted to shout from the rooftops how powerful I am. How powerful WE are as women. An exerpt from this poem is as follows: The body is not an apology. Do not ask for it to be pardoned as criminal. The body is not a crime. The body is not an apology. The body is not soiled, is not filth to be forgiven. The body is not an apology. The body is not calamity. the body is not a math test, the body is not a wrong answer. The body is not a failed class. You are not failing. It is not a “broken” thing to be mended, to be tossed. The body is not to be prayed for. It is to be prayed to. So, HALLELUJAH. —excerpts from "The Body Is Not An Apology" by Sonya Renee When I listened to Sonya Renee SHOUT this poem...I wanted to stand up and say YES YES YES! I am not a mistake. I don't have to make an excuse for how I look, how I think, how I do things. I am a joyful creation. Everything that I consider a flaw is a gift!! As a boutique owner I have many women come into my shop and after trying on dress after dress or jeans after jeans, I look at the disdain in their faces as they half heartedly look at themselves with scorn. Why does it matter that we are not perfect? We have survived childbirth, cancer, diseases of many kinds, bullying, chastising, criticism, hate and racism. We have carried the weight of the world on our shoulders. We have supported people in our family through sickness and depression without a regard for ourselves. We should not apologize for how we look or who we are. We are to be celebrated that survived this 'thing' called LIFE and we are still here to tell about it. We as women need to support each other, black and white. Two young black women came into my shop yesterday and told me how much they loved the vintage and hats that I have here. They enjoyed our motto which is: RCMoore for the Unique Individual, because NO ONE is quite like YOU! I told them how much I support women. Every piece of jewelry we have at the shop is in support of some women's or children's group. I try to raise up my sisters. I want my shop to be an oasis where women feel confident and powerful. In their acquired confidance and power, they will then make better choices. The women were excited and they told me they just started a black women's group. They told me they didn't know where to have their meetings. i told them to have them here. I am not a black woman, but I am a woman just the same. I am someone's daughter, mother, sister, aunt and cousin. I have had many of the same problems that black women have had. I know most of you say, no no no, you are not black, you haven't had the racism. Well, my husband is an African man from a Carribean country. I am Italian and Roma. The racism is there for both of us. I say "is" because it never goes away. We can only manage the hatred, it never ever goes away. So my message today for women, please click on the link and listen to Sonya Renee's poem. Find yourself empowered. Do not apologize for your mastectomy, for your scars, for your sagging skin, your age, your hair or lack there of.....you are a woman to be celebrated by YOURSELF first and then give yourself to the world to be celebrated. If some people do not join in the party, leave them there and move on. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrbUTI95o3U (youtube poem) http://thebodyisnotanapology.tumblr.com/post/74452426784/the-real-impact-of-virtual-harassment (website) After listening to Sonya Renee, embrace your size 20 figure. Embrace your shame and your scars....the things you have gone through have made you a unique and fantastic woman. Do not apologize.......CELEBRATE!

Rose Ellen Moore www.rcmooreunique.com

don't let anyone take away your worth!

My message for women today is a very simple thing. Do not give anyone permission to hurt you or discourage you. Do not give anyone permission to treat you as a doormat. Do not accept people into your life who do nothing to value your life. Your job is to know your worth and to act accordingly. Do not rule your life by emotions based on other peoples' rejection of you. YOU know YOU. YOU make sure that you love YOU. I am saying these things because someone said a hateful hurtful thing to me the beginning of this week which actually sent me to my bed. I literally could not get out of bed. It crippled me to my very bone. This person that said this was surprising to me. I never thought this person would hurt me. I was not only saddened, but shocked beyond belief. It was unbelievable to me that someone who cared about me could actually cripple me with words. The only reason why I was crippled was because I ALLOWED this person to make me feel this way. I allowed this person to take away all of my value as a person. If someone bullies you and calls you dumb, it's because they fear being dumb themselves. If someone tells you that you are a turn off it's because they have something wrong with them! if someone says you are ugly or fat, it's only because THEY want to be YOU! There are many people out there with many different problems. We need to practice compassion and understanding with these people. But understand, their problems are THEIRS and you cannot fix them. THEY have to fix THEMSELVES. It is sinful for one woman to tear down another woman. It's equally as sinful and even more so for a man to degrade or tear down a woman. I would like to say to the 7 women who were sitting at the Perkins Restaurant in Bethlehem PA, THANK YOU for making me the subject of your conversation a few nights ago. I feel honored that you made little ole me your sole subject for the evening. All the laughs that you had at my expense did not hurt me. They made me feel sorry for you because you did little or nothing to even hide your bad manners. I didn't know if it was because my husband and I are an interracial couple or if it was because I was wearing a black and white outfit complete with fringed boots. Whatever the reason, I take pride in what I wear and try very hard to present myself in the best way possible. Your opinion of me..all 7 of you...did not matter at all. If you don't like my taste, I would suggest to acquire some. But I do want you women to know, that if you would come into my shop, you would be treated with the utmost respect and I would help you dress in the style that you like and what is appropriate for your body type. Because, unlike you, I was raised to respect everyone and lift up other women. This blog is not written to vent or to tear other women down. This is proof that even when we graduate from school and we have been all through the silly relatioship issues that we had way back in the day. Still, when we are grown, we still bully and do stupid, hateful things to hurt other people just because they are different from us. Why? I am sure that if there is life on another planet, they are surely looking at us shaking their heads, asking why we cannot just live and let live. There is a song sung by Bette Midler that says, "God is watching Us...from a distance.." yes..He is. Sadly watching as we tear each other down for the color of our skin, our culture, our beliefs and all for nothing. Now Valentine's Day is in February, and we are going to spend trillions of dollars buying Valentines to profess our love to our husbands, friends or significant others. Why don't we forego the card and actually practice loving those people and actually practice kindness and tenderness? I think people would be completely shocked. We are so used to buying a card saying goopy sweetness, and yet doing something completely opposite. No matter what other people do, the only thing that we can do is control ourselves. We cannot control the actions of other people. And so in closing I will suggest to everyone, man or woman. Do NOT allow anyone to take away your worth. Do NOT allow anyone to make you feel insignificant and small. All of us in our own way are important in whatever contribution we can give to this world. In the words of Viola Davis in the movie 'The Help'....YOU ARE KIND< YOU ARE SMART< YOU ARE IMPORTANT....I AM! Rose Ellen Moore www.rcmooreunique.com