This weekend is mother's day. I don't always follow what society says and celebrate days because THEY SAY I have to. We should celebrate Christmas every day. We should celebrate mother's and father's day every day. Every day is a reason to celebrate, right? Of course~ But this time, I must pay a tribute, because I feel that I have to share the pain and breakthrough that I experienced.
My mother.........I look like her. I idolized her. She wore big hats and had a fantastic sense of style. She also was very talented. She could touch anything and for whatever reason, it would work. Whatever outfit she put together, whatever decoupage artistic thing she would hang in the kitchen, ceramics? forget about it, she had that covered. Knitting, crocheting, sewing, designing, interior decorating....she had the gift. As far as solving a crossword puzzle or a cryptoquip, she was THE BOMB! My mother could grow an African Violet from a leaf....houseplants, macrame, ANYTHING......she was extremely gifted.
As I grew, I just trusted her that she knew exactly what I should do. She knew the best thing, she knew the right thing and I trusted her word as law. As I got to be 17, 18, 19....we started to grow apart, because I had a thought and an opinion. I was growing and becoming an adult and our relationship was not growing. She still wanted to be in charge, unfortunately she can't be in charge of an adult when I had a husband and children. Welll......my husband and I did not work out. He was abusive and out of respect for my children I will say no more...., neither marriage number 1 nor marriage number 2 worked out. I had 4 children and my mother was embarrassed,humiliated and PISSED that I didn't listen to her, and 'why oh why couldn't I be normal?' Well, what is normal? I was an eccentric person with a very different view of the world. I knew what I wanted in life, unfortunately I didn't have it with either partner. My mother and I started to fight all the time. She hated me. I was convinced. Then when I had met my husband (yes, husband number 3...and three times is the charm!) my mother went ballistic! I really thought her head was going to pop off! 'what is everyone in Berwick gonna say?' who really cared! It was foreign to me that she would care about everyone in Berwick but not about me or my life or my feelings or the welfare of my children. She just wanted me to be normal.
So...we stopped talking. One day she did something so terrible to me, that I was devastated. I literally stopped talking to her, and I ran away. I moved 60 miles away...it wasn't far enough. I started to have heart problems, I was hospitalized 3 times for a valve issue. I cried in my sleep. Nothing could fix or stop the pain I felt in my heart. For years my husband tried to compensate for the pain I felt from the loss of my mother in my life. Truthfully, I saw her in the mirror every day and I missed her. After 9 years, I returned to Berwick to see my mother. It was if I never left her. My message to all on this mother's day is this............................sometimes things are hard to forgive. But forgiveness is about YOU not anyone else. All my gifts that I have, every talent is from my mother. from my dad, I got my great sense of humor and wit, and from my mother I received all my talent as an artist. I am grateful I had the parents that I had. I am grateful to my mother. I wish her views on things would be different, but sometimes we have to agree to disagree. And the beauty of this is, she is here to see all of the wonderful things that she has created, now through me. She can enjoy all the fruits of my labor, and she instilled them in me. So, thank you Ma........for my gifts. And my gift to you is showing you all the gifts you gave me.
Love, your daughter, Rose Ellen
My son Matthew, my mother Sophia (June) my son Ezio
My mother.........I look like her. I idolized her. She wore big hats and had a fantastic sense of style. She also was very talented. She could touch anything and for whatever reason, it would work. Whatever outfit she put together, whatever decoupage artistic thing she would hang in the kitchen, ceramics? forget about it, she had that covered. Knitting, crocheting, sewing, designing, interior decorating....she had the gift. As far as solving a crossword puzzle or a cryptoquip, she was THE BOMB! My mother could grow an African Violet from a leaf....houseplants, macrame, ANYTHING......she was extremely gifted.
As I grew, I just trusted her that she knew exactly what I should do. She knew the best thing, she knew the right thing and I trusted her word as law. As I got to be 17, 18, 19....we started to grow apart, because I had a thought and an opinion. I was growing and becoming an adult and our relationship was not growing. She still wanted to be in charge, unfortunately she can't be in charge of an adult when I had a husband and children. Welll......my husband and I did not work out. He was abusive and out of respect for my children I will say no more...., neither marriage number 1 nor marriage number 2 worked out. I had 4 children and my mother was embarrassed,humiliated and PISSED that I didn't listen to her, and 'why oh why couldn't I be normal?' Well, what is normal? I was an eccentric person with a very different view of the world. I knew what I wanted in life, unfortunately I didn't have it with either partner. My mother and I started to fight all the time. She hated me. I was convinced. Then when I had met my husband (yes, husband number 3...and three times is the charm!) my mother went ballistic! I really thought her head was going to pop off! 'what is everyone in Berwick gonna say?' who really cared! It was foreign to me that she would care about everyone in Berwick but not about me or my life or my feelings or the welfare of my children. She just wanted me to be normal.
So...we stopped talking. One day she did something so terrible to me, that I was devastated. I literally stopped talking to her, and I ran away. I moved 60 miles away...it wasn't far enough. I started to have heart problems, I was hospitalized 3 times for a valve issue. I cried in my sleep. Nothing could fix or stop the pain I felt in my heart. For years my husband tried to compensate for the pain I felt from the loss of my mother in my life. Truthfully, I saw her in the mirror every day and I missed her. After 9 years, I returned to Berwick to see my mother. It was if I never left her. My message to all on this mother's day is this............................sometimes things are hard to forgive. But forgiveness is about YOU not anyone else. All my gifts that I have, every talent is from my mother. from my dad, I got my great sense of humor and wit, and from my mother I received all my talent as an artist. I am grateful I had the parents that I had. I am grateful to my mother. I wish her views on things would be different, but sometimes we have to agree to disagree. And the beauty of this is, she is here to see all of the wonderful things that she has created, now through me. She can enjoy all the fruits of my labor, and she instilled them in me. So, thank you Ma........for my gifts. And my gift to you is showing you all the gifts you gave me.
Love, your daughter, Rose Ellen
Rose Ellen Moore
www.rcmooreunique.com
My mother (Sophia) June, my grand daughter GinaRose and my son Ezio
My son Matthew, my mother Sophia (June) my son Ezio
me at 6 years old, my mother and my sister, Susan
my mother and I in 1997
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