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Wednesday, January 28, 2015

when it's time to LET GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Today I am missing someone that was in my life for my entire life except for the last 3 or 4 years.  My cousin S was a very important person in my life. She was there for me when I was small. She was older than me and I considered her my second mother. Her mother and father were my 'great' aunt and uncle. She was beautiful, smart and funny. She traveled the world and I loved her because of all the things that she had been through in her life. She had one child who was the same age as my oldest child. They lived in NYC. They vacationed at my home in PA to get a taste of country life. I enjoyed being with her. I enjoyed our lively conversations and I loved her point of view. I couldn't get enough of being around her. 

Cousin S was with me when my father died. And also through my great divorce of 1996. She was also with me through my great divorce of 1998. She helped me raise my children. She was my sounding board.  I felt we could tell each other anything. She yelled at me, cried with me, we shared life and I enjoyed every bit of it. 

I moved 1 hour away from NYC to be near her. I wanted to be near her so I could see her more rather than talk on the phone. I also thought, well, she is now in her late 60's, so I should be near her in case she needed me. Unfortunately she did not feel the same. It became quite clear after my move to the Lehigh Valley, that I invaded her space. She did not want me to come visit her, she didn't enjoy talking to me and our time on the phone became less and less. She had her circle of friends, her job and her pets. She had a routine and I was ruining it. 

Some of us have that very rare privilege to be friends with someone for a long time. I have had friends and acquaintances that I have had in my life since I was 3 years old.  It's so nice to talk to someone and say, "hey, remember when...blah blah blah..."  and then laugh like crazy. Then there are the people, who, for whatever reason, just don't want you there anymore. Their space and time is limited and they choose to fill your spot with someone or something else. And you are left with this feeling of, "WHAT? WHY? Did I not mean that much to you?' The truth is, sometimes there is no reason or cause, sometimes it's just a 'what's so'.....  Maybe you have outgrown this person, or they, you..   maybe things that were once funny are not so funny anymore, and views have changed. The best thing we can do for ourselves is LET GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!   It's ok...no one is going to die. My cousin S and I are both fine. We are fine in our individual places....not in each other's life. So, today, although I am missing her, I wish her well....I wish her happiness, and I remember many fun times. Acceptance is the key to life. I don't remember who said that, but they are right. I am letting her go...maybe she will be like a butterfly and return, then again, maybe she will be a balloon and be gone forever. Whatever it is, I will be fine. 
Rose Ellen Moore
www.rcmooreunique.com

Friday, January 16, 2015

Marriage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bY0fdgpISc&list=RD_bY0fdgpISc#t=39

If you didn't copy and paste that url in your browser, it's a funny  part of "the Princess Bride" when the priest talks of Marriage, or as he says, Mowage!

I know there are many women out there that want the story book marriage. I wanted it too. We all grow up with the same fairy tales of women being kissed and saved by the handsome prince. We are led to believe that 'we will live happily ever after'....but the truth is, Life itself is hard and sometimes not very happy.

I was married 3 times. Does that make me a bad person? No...that makes me a woman that made some choices that maybe weren't so smart.  My first husband was abusive and was in love with Jim Beam more than me.  I tried and tried, stayed in it for 15 years and became extremely depressed. I finally gave up on my dream....and moved on. I had 3 children with him.  Being a single parent sucked. I was also working ( and making good money) but I was exhausted all the time and it was tough to shoulder all the responsibilities of a big house. So out of desperation, (which you should NEVER base a decision on) I married my second husband.  he was in love with his mother more than me.  And out of respect for the child we had together, I will say no more.  Our marriage was short and not sweet at all.    Now, I have been married to Clayton for 11 years. We have been together longer. Our life is good and through the good and bad times we stick together. It's like being in an elite club. There are secrets that we alone know. There are things we do not discuss with other people and there is an allegiance that goes beyond everything.

Marriage vows are really quite sad when you think about it. You are promising to love a person when they are sick, poor, and stupid, until death. And believe me, ALL OF THOSE THINGS will happen. The trick is, to see if your partner keeps trying. Does your partner do the same dumb things over and over, or does he graduate to a higher level of thinking? Boundaries need to be set and not crossed.

I really don't think there is a perfect recipe for marriage. I think there needs to be basic things.....
Compassion, respect, understanding, and the most important thing......it is better to be KIND than be RIGHT.     And all those things together is what makes up this wonderful thing called LOVE......

so when women come into my shop and say that their marriage has failed....that does not mean that they themselves are a failure. It just means that something didn't click. Someone didn't stick to the plan or someone gave up. But none of those things makes either one  a horrible person. My ex es are not bad people. They didn't click with me. They were not right for me. We did not bring out the good in each other. So ladies, don't get down about 'finding the right one'.....just let life flow. Open your hearts...but at the same time, open your eyes too....  

Rose Ellen Moore
www.rcmooreunique.com
https://www.facebook.com/rc.moore.7
https://www.etsy.com/shop/RCMooreVintage



Wednesday, January 7, 2015

I tend to talk.....................ALOT

Life should be a celebration.  Every day and every experience should be used to your advantage. There is great meaning to the phrase, 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade'....    I don't mean to sound like Pollyanna, but it's true.   Every single thing that happens to you in your life, is to bring you to where you are supposed to be.

I was married the first time for 15 years. Out of respect for my children, I will not expand as to why it did not work out, except to say that we were in an abusive relationship.   I married a second time, only to start the marriage with 3 people instead of 2 (me, him and his mother) and so that one did not work out as well.  But both relationships brought me to where I am today, with the most extraordinary man I have ever met, leading the most loving, adventurous, challenging and fun life I could ever imagine~!    The amount of gratitude I have for the opportunities that I have been given is overwhelming at times. We have a vintage-millinery boutique that has done much more than give women and men their own unique fashion. We have given a forum to many people who just need to be heard and validated.

I get so passionate about so many things that I forget that I am talking the legs off a table at some point in the conversation.  More than once, Clayton and I have been in the company of people and ended up monopolizing the conversation.  I talk more than Clayton (is that possible?) yes it is. I am predisposed to this ailment, because I am Italian, so not only does a verbal volcano errupt at any given moment, but my hands and arms flail about like I have muscle spasms. My laugh is a cross between Phyllis Diller and Lucille Ball.  It is loud, powerful and EVERYBODY will know that I am having a good time.

This morning I started out my day, happy that the sun was shining and although it was cold and windy, I was grateful as I am everyday, that I have the opportunity to ride along in the car, with the man I love, drinking my chai tea, and talking (yes, we talk each other's ears off too!) about current events. My mother calls.....and I started telling her about everything that was happening in the shop.
"Ma, I made a coat, and a matching dress, and I made this cool hat, and I did this and that......." and she interrupted me to say, "Rose Ellen, you are going on and on....did you take a pill or something?"
My balloon was completely deflated.  I must sound like a lunatic.

So, to my friends, I would like to say, thank you for tolerating my blabbering. Please understand that I am HAPPY and that is why I talk alot.  I am passionate and I have alot going on , ALL THE TIME!  And I apologize to the people who's ears have fallen off because of me.   But if you stop by the shop, I will glue them back on for you!


https://www.facebook.com/rc.moore.7
https://www.facebook.com/Thegoodbuygirls1
https://www.etsy.com/shop/RCMooreVintage
www.rcmooreunique.com


Monday, December 29, 2014

for the new year

Today, as other days, I took to facebook to promote my business. I honestly would not participate in facebook if I did not own a business.  In this moment in time, if you have a business you must be on every social media outlet that you can be on. I am on google+, tumblr, flicker, facebook, instagram, linkd in, twitter, and probably others that I don't know about.

Facebook....it is a bane and a curse. A bane because it is such a great annoyance to me when my phone buzzes every 2 minutes about playing a game or another advertisement. A curse because it's a double edged sword.  We need to have it to keep in touch with our relatives, to keep in touch with friends, to promote our businesses, but we also have to listen to rants, raves, and hate mongering. 

As a wife of an African man and mother of 6 of a blended family, I have to withstand taunts, ridicules, and outrage about black males. For every ONE positive post about the GOOD, there are 10 negative posts about people that do not even deserve to be spoken about. 

A year ago, my husband, my friend and I celebrated her birthday in NYC. Clayton stayed in the city to take his mother somewhere, and my friend and I were to continue traveling to Long Island. We got on the wrong train and ended up in Camden NJ. It was 3AM.  The conductor said, 'you need to get off here, and take the other train to Long Island.' my friend said to me, 'we cannot get off here, there is a sea of black men out there.'  I looked at her and said, ' I AM MARRIED TO A BLACK MAN! does this mean that every black male is a thug, murderer, rapist, etc?'  We ended up getting off in Camden NJ, took the proper train, but ultimately that person took the 'train' right out of my life. I have not spoken to her since.

For the new year, my wish is that we evolve our thinking and learn to practice tolerance, acceptance and compassion. Every day I vow to fight against the negativity and the hate. If I throw one pebble into the water the level of the water will rise, and even if it's just a small tiny fraction, it's still a step in the right direction. And maybe, the ripples will be felt for a long time. If we all vow to be kinder to each other, to be understanding to each other, maybe the world can be alittle better. We all make a new years resolution to lose weight, to quit smoking, to make our bodies healthier.....so why not make the world we live in healthier too?

So for my new years resolutions, 1- I would LOVE to be healthier, to get in more exercise so I can live longer.  2- I would like to keep in touch MORE with ALL of our children. (including our 3 grandaughters) and 3- I will fight until my last breath against racism, hatred, bullying, and abuse.

best wishes for the new year..................



www.rcmooreunique.com
https://www.facebook.com/rc.moore.7
https://www.etsy.com/shop/RCMooreVintage
https://www.facebook.com/Thegoodbuygirls1






Sunday, December 21, 2014

My Christmas Gift for all women.............

Today as I was driving to my shop, I saw a woman in pajama pants pushing a stroller, holding on to her bag of groceries, trying to pull a toddler along.....and I thought, I was there.....  

I was there, pushing one kid in a stroller and dragging another one. No make up on, depressed and wondering when my life was going to get better. I was there,  trying to work and raise a family.  I forgot my child's snack day one day, so I purchased 28 snack bags of carmel popcorn. My clothes were always purchased at the salvation army, or my rich aunt would have pity on the poor relation and give them to me. I worked 3 jobs. I was always burning the candle at both ends. I had an abusive husband that called me a fat, greasy wop or dago on a regular basis. I was so depressed. I felt like I wasn't worth anything.

Now, I'm 52 and my children are grown. I have grandchildren now. I have a wonderful, exceptional human being for a husband.  I wonder how I did it back then. How did I get through that time of my life? It was so horrible.

So,  when women come into my shop, I want them to feel like a queen. Because we are.  We are the ones that bear the burden, the ones who try the hardest.The ones that cry the tears and take the pain.

 So ladies, when you come to my shop to see me, you get the BEST treatment. You will have a glass of wine, and someone to dress you. You need help with make up? I'll help you. You need a shoulder to cry on? I got one. Not just for Christmas day, but for all days. Why? Because I was you....................I was there.

My wish for this Christmas and for all year through is that women help each other. Because we need to. We need to be strong women for not only our children, but for other women who cannot be strong. We need each other..............

Merry Christmas, Joyous Kwaanza, Happy Hannuka, Happy Holidays,

Namaste

Rose Ellen Moore
 www.rcmooreunique.com

Friday, November 21, 2014

the Fall of Bill Cosby

This week in the social media was the controversy between about 15 women who have said they have been raped and Bill Cosby is the accused rapist. This whole situation is disturbing on so many levels.

First , Bill Cosby broke into acting and stand up comedy at the time when it was very rare for a black person to be recognized as a viable actor or actress. Bill Cosby had a spy series on television. He had a a cartoon, he was on commercials, he had several comedy albums, not to mention guest appearances on the Tonight Show. He portrayed a positive perception of African Americans. He loved children and showed his good rapport with them on jello commercials. He had his own series which was a joy to watch for everyone. It disturbed me greatly when all of these women came from everywhere to  call this man a rapist.   When a seed is planted, there is nothing anyone can do. The seed just continues to grow and boom ! the man that has built his reputation, his brand, his LIFE....is now reduced to nothing. He is a leper, a creep, the devil incarnate. The power of social media has made this man tried and judged without a courtroom venue.  The statues of limitations is long gone. There is nothing these women can do now. They can ruin his life, though. They can take hush money. Is that what they wanted and he didn't offer it? Would this man have risked e everything that he fought  so hard for as As a black American only to throw it away for some 'jelly'?

Whether Bill Cosby is guilty or not we will never  know. There is a he said she said issue and now with womens rights being at the forefront, there Are more people sympathizing with these  women. But there is no proof, no witnesses, nothing but an allegation. These women have now put current rape victims under the microscope more. These women do not realize how they have made rape situations difficult for other unfortunate rape victims .

Sadly, even though this allegation cannot be proven....Bill Cosby is now ruined.  His reputation as a family man, an educated man, a brilliant entertainer is now gone. And let's not forget the woman who is suffering the most.....his wife Camille.  Now Camille has stuck by this man because of all people, maybe she knows him more than we do.  Do I think Bill Cosby has had indiscretions  in the past? Yes.and he has admitted that t his wife. Was the woman drugged? No. So why did he have to drug these particular  women? And, by the way...this ex mistress is in jail for extortion.

My point of all this is: anyone at anytime can be in the shadows waiting for your success and at that time decide to ruin you. And when the seed is planted, there is little else you can do. Whether they want extortion money, or they just want to see you fail, the social media helps to balloon an accusation to a degree of enormous magnitude. And we as the pawns are willing to lap it up and believe it. We as a public purchase the rag papers and watch the entertainment news. So who is more guilty...Bill Cosby. ... or us?

Monday, November 3, 2014

appreciate your life.......

When I woke up this morning and saw the news about Brittany Maynard, I was sad, but I was also happy for her. She will not have to suffer, she will not have to incur any astronomical expenses that her family will have to pay. She chose to end her life as she pleases. Many people would not agree with that, saying only God has the right to end your life. But, they are not in her position and many self righteous people do not have to do the suffering , the crying, they don't have to endure the humiliation of losing control of parts of your body. And so to them, I push the ignore button. To Brittany, I look at her as a hero.

You can read her story here on MSN:
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/terminally-ill-brittany-maynard-takes-her-own-life/ar-BBcEQgq

To everyone that is reading this, and who posts hate mongering pictures and jokes on facebook, like heavy people who look terrible in their clothes, or racially fueled fights and brawls, bullying on any level, or jokes against gays or religion, I hope this article puts everything in perspective.

Life is so precious. We never know what we will have to face one day to the next. It's nice to have family or friends around to help you through  pain, be it physical or mental. It hurts me to watch people make fun of, or post photos or videos of other people in pain. Where is compassion? You can't heal somethng, if you keep picking the scab.  And so, with that being said. I hope that everyone appreciates their day. Today and every day. I hope that you offer help to someone in need and I hope that you find compassion for the person who you think is a 'freak'.  Everyone is just trying to make it through life. It's tough. And while you are struggling to live your life, you never know when it will be taken from you........................
Brittany Maynard



Rose Ellen Moore
www.rcmooreunique.com

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Magda Olivera and other centenarians

As a woman of 52 years, I am always worried about what little time left I have to do all the things that I want to do. That was, until today.   A woman inspired me in her death. Magda Olivera is a famous Italian opera singer. She died on Sept 8th at 104 years.   She was performing for people up until she passed away.   The following is a link, that you can hear (she speaks only Italian, but at the end, she sings, and even though at times she runs out of breath , her trained voice is remarkable.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qQqsyPPRhM

It wasn't until I searched for her video that I discovered another video....Polly Roesch, 100 years young sings with full orchestra. She brought me to tears with 'Let there be peace on earth'....Lord knows we need that now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6V6g7V_TlK8

Then on listening to THAT video, I saw another, Lou Batori, 100 years old, skiing and enjoying himself. Born in Hungary, now skiing in Michigan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yR-OX_KiFdY

Then I came across Fern...I love her earrings,  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqoqR8_MVHw
then Jessie, at 105...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtkAFn9RWJc


Video after video I found of so many men and women enjoying their lives at 100+   singing, swimming, skiing, dancing, and all of them that were interviewed said the same thing. They didn't mention one thing about money. They said they look forward to friends, the love of family, the enjoyment of the things that they know how to do. The appreciate what they have and they forgive, and reminisce and appreciate every second of their lives.

Well, I'm not going to wait until I'm 100 to do that. But I hope that I make it as long as they did. I want to thank them for giving me inspiration, for lifting me up, for making me feel alive. Sometimes in the death of others, you see alot of life.

Rose Ellen Moore
www.rcmooreunique.com
1729  W Tilgman Street
Allentown PA  18104

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Ray and Janay Rice...shame on both of you!

Today I was reading my twitter feed and found out that Janay Rice is defending her husband. He knocked her out cold, and she defended him.

http://www.tmz.com/2014/09/08/ray-rice-elevator-knockout-fiancee-takes-crushing-punch-video/

I know there will be many many views on this subject. I probably will raise alot of haters out there, but the truth of the matter is this.

We have all been in relationships where it gets to the point where you want to pound the hell out of your mate. But we don't. Why? Because it's not right. Why let it get to that point?  When you argue..the best thing to do is NOTHING!   don't yell anymore. Make your point later. Don't hit, scream, call names...because nothing will resolve when you are that mad. And nothing can be taken back once it comes out.

I work with my husband every day. I go home with him every night. Are there times we argue? HELL YES! are there times I want to punch him? HELL YES! are there times he wants to punch me? HELL YES YES YES!!!!!   But we don't go there. It cannot be taken back. When we disagree....and we start to argue, we go in our corners. We get away from each other. We take a break. Lets think..lets cool down...lets regroup. Nothing gets resolved with hitting and name calling. And more than anything we realize in a bit, that this is the person who always has my back. I have his and he has mine. I love him and he loves me. After awhile the anger subsides, and we can calmy discuss the issue at hand. That's what grown mature people do.

Now this man is booted from his job. Good. I am glad that the NFL made a stand. This behavior is not acceptable.  Now Janay is defending him. This is a giant step back for every woman who has endured domestic violence.  What's the matter Janay?   Is your lifestyle now gone? Was it more important than your life and your well-being?  What if your child witnessed that horrific behavior? It would have taught a young girl child that 'it's ok to be hit by your husband' and if it were a boy child  'it would be ok to hit your wife'.   WRONG!

I hope that both of these people get counseling.  I hope Janay especially gets counseling...because I would like this woman to know something. Hitting and being hit , name calling and abuse, is NOT OK AT ALL AT ALL AT ALL!!!!!  No matter what...no man should be dragging the woman he loves out of  an elevator on her face!   Is this marriage irrepairable? No....not if both of them get serious counseling...but they have to be serious and they MUST adhere to boundaries. God Bless them both....they need it.

Rose Ellen Moore
www.rcmooreunique.com
1729 W Tilghman Street'
Allentown, PA 18104